Hi all,
Sorry it has been a long time since I wrote last. The first reason being that we didn't have computer access over most of the last few days and the other being that I haven't been feeling overly creative as of late. Writing for me is hard if I HAVE to write. Mostly I write when the mood strikes, and lucky you - I am in that writing mood! HA!
I was at the pool yesterday - sunny AZ 70+ degrees and heated pool - nnnniiiiccceee
Anyway, the kids were enjoying each other, diving for coins, hitting each other with the noodles and just generally having a good time. These two boys eventually showed up and they kinda did their own thing. After some time their mom and I got to talking and we had a lot in common. They too are traveling around N. America, homeschooling and she likes to scrapbook, so we chatted a while.
After a bit it was time for us to head out. Isaac was freezing....the boy is as thin as a rail. He eats just as much, if not more than my 17 year old son, but can't seem to put on the pounds. With negative body fat, he doesn't last long...........
The mom I happened to be chatting with decided to head out too and started to call to her boys. They totally ignored her. Just kept on playing and laughing. After some more "get out of the pool boys" they begin a game that included a lot of splashing and they were getting everyone a bit wet. Again, she yelled and again they ignored her. Then they started to sass at her and well, you know. I kinda said my goodbyes and left.
I have two things to say about this, one, have you ever been in that situation? I wanted to slink away because I know how she feels. You have this idea in mind that your children should jump when you say jump and move out when you say move out. When they don't you are so embarrassed........so I began to leave so she wouldn't feel that same way.
But, the thought that ran thru my mind more was the total disobedience of these children. Now I am not bashing parenting skills, more so I am talking about the blatant disobedience of children today. Not only that, but the disrespect. I see it everywhere, and it isn't only focused on parents, but all adults and at times each other as well.
When I received my teaching degree 20 years ago the tide was changing to making sure kids felt good about themselves. "If you boost them up, they will feel pride and want to learn and work harder." is what they would teach us. What I am afraid has happened is that the pendulum swung too far and these children, who are now adults (and raising the same type of children), are so focused on themselves that they forgot the most important thing - others.
We have raised up a society, which is now in their 20's+ that is so SELF focused that there is no room for anyone else, let alone God. They want to be rich, successful, powerful, beautiful. Nothing seems to satisfy them and walking all over the hearts and souls of others is no matter for someone who has their eyes focused on the future; especially when today is just not cutting it for them.
It saddens me so see this. I wonder what our world is going to be like in the next 20 years with self centered people in leadership positions. It is a scary thought.
So, what can we take from this track of thinking. This is what I usually do with my ugly thoughts, I think of how I can make it better. Usually the bettering has to do with my immediately family. Then, if God wishes, it goes outside to others I come in contact with.
So, my children are the guinea pigs :) But seriously, I want them to be loving and caring people. I want them to think of others. I want them to have such a love for God that they will know and hear His voice telling them to GO........GO! Where to go and what to do does not make a difference to me. It is that fact that they are going.............doing something for the glory of God!
I think this is how we can fight the selfish monster that rears its ugly head in all of our lives. Listen for that Holy Spirit to tell you how to serve others. Self sacrifice! How difficult is that? Sometimes VERY difficult. It is one of the things I have been working on for the last 6 months. How much do I really sacrifice for my family? am I willing to just do anything AND without grumbling? That is a whole other story. Doing it is one thing, grumbling while doing it is another. But lets remember one thing, with a heart focused on others, yourself becomes much easier to love :)
Read Luke 10: 25-36
XO
Several years ago, when I had only three small children, a guest speaker at church put it this way to the kids present: "Obedience is doing WHAT you're told to do, WHEN you're told to do it, with a HAPPY HEART. Anything less is NOT obedience." His words shot me right between the eyes - ouch! From my children, I'm often content with even slow, moping "obedience"...please, just do what I told you, already! Definitely a compromise in parenting. Then, myself, I often "obey" God in the same way - maybe I'm slow, maybe I'm not happy, but, Hey, God, look...at least I'm doing what You want, right?
ReplyDeleteThese situations (like the Mom at the pool) are becoming increasingly awkward to me, because I feel like, as an older woman, I should have some wisdom to speak into them. But how to do so graciously, so as not to make a frustrated parent defensive, or surly children even more surly? I feel like I need to DO or SAY something to help - but what? and how?
I think you are dead on in this really being the fruit of a generation raised to esteem themselves too highly. My college-age son commented last week that used to, the thing that preserved the younger generation was the older generation injecting it with truth. Now, the adults around us, having been raised as the center of their worlds, have no truth themselves, much less anything to pass down to their children. There is very little left of a wise, engaged older generation.
But I am encouraged that so many younger people seem to see the futility of the "self" way of thinking and are looking for more substantial answers to life. While the previous generations lost the Scriptures, maybe this new generation will rediscover them - I like to think of this as the "Josiah" generation.
As a note, my blog post for tomorrow is slightly related to this topic - look for "Thanks, Joe!" I am so grateful for parents who are deliberate, engaged, persevering, unselfish - both as concerns their own children/parenting and as concerns my children. Believers, living in covenant relationship w/ other believers, have such potential for impacting and blessing their sisters and brothers in Christ.
Thanks for this post, Sue!