Job

I haven't written in a while. We are in the midst of moving from MI to PA and the entire thing has been a trial. This is by far the hardest "house buying" we have ever experienced. It seems to be centered around the realtor for the seller and it has been very difficult, to say the least.

So I decided, or God prompted me, to read Job. You want to talk about trials! WOW I am only on chapter 18, so there is still SO much more to go, but what amazes me about Job is his unfailing relationship with God. His dedication to the Lord. The Almighty!

As you all know the hardships just kept coming, children, servants, cattle all dying. Sicknesses of every kind coming upon him. "Friends" who weren't exactly being friendly, yet, he still knew God was there.

But even more amazing is that Job knows that God has allowed this to happen to him. He knows God has control of the situation, YET, he loves the Lord. He knows that he is ruler of all and that no one is righteous before Him. He still believes in his God. He still knows that HE is around, watching over him. And that his trials were justified, somehow. He may no know the reason, but he knows that God will see him through.

WOW, just WOW! I know that at times like these I just sit and wallow in self pity. There are times I want to hang out in my justified sadness and make everyone miserable with me. To be honest I get so caught up in my feelings that I forget that God can help me with all of that. He can bring me out of the storm. But only if I acknowledge Him. If I don't, than there never seems to be a ligtht at the end of that tunnel. Dispare sets in and boy is it ugly!

It is only when I begin to see glimpses of the end do I really take the time to thank the Lord. Maybe that is just it. For we wimpy believers God will look at us and say, "OK I will toss her a little nugget." I know that at times I need just that. I need Him to give me some good in the bad. OR to be reminded to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit so I will recognize some good among the bad. It is only then that I realize that I need to get out of this funk and look at the glass in a different light. Psalm 23 says that my cup will over flow. When I look back, it most certainly has and these little hiccups along the way are just that, hiccups. Not world ending occurances!

God is still God. He is still in control. He will never leave me or forsake me. He is always there. I just need to take the time to listen and look for Him, in each moment of the trail.

Thanks Job. What an unbelievable lesson.

Fathers Day

In this day and age there are so many men out there that are not being men. I walk down the street and see boys, I think, that are dressed to make my generation confused about if they are male or female. They think this is cool? Why? I just don't get it.

I want my son to grow to be a man. I want him to WANT to work hard, earn a living to support his family, love and honor his wife, love and discipline his children, and a list of other manly things. Why is this a lost art? Why is it that so many young men I have met in the last 5 years have no aspirations of working hard? Why do they feel that sitting on the couch at their parents home is a good thing? Why do they not respect themselves or the people in their lives?

On that note, I have to say that I am ever so thankful that my sons, and daughters for that matter, have a hard working, wife loving, child respecting father to look up to. My husband has set the bar high and I know that my children love him for it. I am thankful to God that he took my husband, made him HIS and molded him into a man that our children can be proud of, that I can be proud of.

Thank you Lord Jesus for a loving husband. Thank you for the blessing that you have given me in him.

Tell your husband/fathers how wonderful they are! They need to hear your words that bring honor and respect more than anything else.

XO

mom's

I love my mom, but we see the world differently sometimes and that makes getting along tough.

But a month ago I put all that aside and sat down to remember all the great things she has done for me over the years. The list is long, which is a good thing!

So, for Mother's Day this year I put those things down on some nice card stock paper, bought a nice picture frame and gave it to her. I not only gave it to her, I read it out loud to her for all of our family (18 at the time) to hear. I think I needed her to know how I feel and I am sure she needed to hear it.

This idea isn't my own. I read a book by Dennis Rainey a few years back about leaving a legacy to your parents. He talks about writing down all the things you love about them, or the things they have done for you BEFORE they are no longer with us. He also encourages you to read it outloud to them. HARD!!! It is a great book and although I read it three years ago I wasn't in the right frame of mind to write my letter until recently.

The letter is below. I hope this encourages you to write to your parents and if they aren't with us any longer, write it anyway. It will be a good thing for you to remember and to share with your children about what a great mom or dad you have/had. No matter how difficult our lives might have been or are now, there is ALWAYS something loving you can say about your parents. My dad is next...................

XO

Mom,
I wanted to share some things that I love about you for Mother’s Day.

I love that figured me out from the start and worked with me on my strengths and weaknesses
I love that you made me try sports even though I was petrified to do anything new.
I love that you tried your hardest to make me a student, even though I only wanted to socialize.
I love that you let me sit and talk with your friends on occasion. It made me feel all grown up.
I love that you trusted me when I went out in high school.
I loved that you instilled in me a moral compass in all aspects of my life, even if I didn’t always follow it.
I love that you sent me awesome care packages in college just so I wouldn’t feel lonely.
I love that you always made the holidays so special with decorations, goodies and gifts.
I love that you still correct my grammar.
I love that you gave me a passion for cooking as you are a fantastic chef.
I love that you love my husband
I love that you love our children

I know that over the years we have had our differences and we are not big on telling each other our feelings; but I also know that you will always love me and I will always love you.

Thanks for being such a great mom.
XO
h

Beautiful Song

It has been FOREVER since I have had a chance to write. I haven't had a writing bug, but I also haven't had much of an opportunity. Traveling all over the US gives me lots of things to write about and lots of time to do it, but the last month we have been living with friends and family and it is hard to get away to have my own private thoughts let alone write.

So even though this is not really my own writing, I wanted to share it with you. It is a wonderful song that I have heard on the radio lately. I do enjoy this group, Casting Crowns. They have some great songs. Here it is. I hope it makes you think like it made me think.

the words are below. If you get a chance check out the youtube video with words. So beautiful and touching.

XO

***************************************************************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzcPAOIOU7w


If We Ever Needed You

Hear our cry, Lord we pray,
Our faces down, our hands are raised,
You called us out, we turned away, we've turned away.

With ship wrecked faith, idols rise,
We do what is right, in our own eyes,
Our children now, will pay the price,
We need Your light, Lord, shine Your light.

If we've ever needed You, Lord, it's now, Lord, it's now,
We are desperate for Your hand, we're reachin' out, we're reachin' out.

All our hearts, all our strength,
With all our minds, we're at Your fate,
May Your Kingdom come, in our hearts and lives,
Let Your Church arise, let Your Church arise!

If we've ever needed You, Lord, it's now, Lord, it's now,
We are desperate for Your hand, we're reachin' out, we're reachin' out, we're reachin' out

If we've ever needed You, Lord, it's now, Lord, it's now,
We're are desperate for Your hand, we're reachin' out, we're reachin' out,
If we've ever needed You, Lord, it's now, Lord, it's now,
We are desperate for Your hand, we're reachin' out, we're reachin' out

We need You now
Revive us now
We need You now

QUESTION!

So, I am chatting with my brother, who by the way doesn't really care about religion, but thinks he should join the Catholic church because his wife and kids go there and he wants to participate. While I commend his desire to have their family all in one accord, he is coming from the wrong place. Don't you think you should want to go to church because you ah.....LOVE GOD, want to be OBEDIENT TO GOD, and maybe want to WORSHIP GOD? I didn't say that to him in those BIG LETTERS :) but we continued to chat.

So, and this is what he says next:

" I don't understand what the big deal is about wondering who is going to get into heaven and who isn't. Why don't we just live our lives and try to be the best people we can be. Who cares!"

.................any suggestions on how to answer that one?

Family is hard to convert! :)

XO

Sweet Words

I love to cook, but even more so I love to sit around a full dinner table and chat with my family. I actually do the majority of the listening for a change as the kids always have something interesting to say.

This is a favorite time of mine. It is like a winding down of the day. Pretty much all things are done by 6:00 at our house. School is finished, chores are done, work is over. The time to relax is now. I try not to think about the clean up from dinner, which in my kitchen is ALWAYS big since I am a very messy cook! I relish the time we share while enjoying a good meal.

Easter Dinner was no exception. But this time my husband was asking specific questions and the person who answered was the last person I thought would know all that he knew.

Our 9 year old little boy, as most of you know, is adopted. Along with his sweet smile, easy laugh and impish personality came some big cognitive delays, amongst other things. Teaching him right from wrong has been a challenge to say the least. Trying to get him to understand abstract things has been near impossible.

But not tonight. Tonight our little man surprised, amazed and excited us all. He not only answered all the questions, he answered them so fast that the other three didn't have a chance to get a word in. The conversation went something like this:

Daddy: So, who can tell me why we celebrate this special day?
Isaac: Because Jesus died on the cross on Good Friday and rose on Easter Sunday
Daddy: Very good Isaac, why did he have to die?
Isaac: Because we are sinners Daddy and he rose so he could prepare a place for us in heaven. (I am not kidding, those were his exact words!! THANK YOU SWEET JESUS!)
Daddy: What would happen if He didn't die for us?
Isaac: Then we would go to hell and it isn't nice there, you would much rather be in heaven. You have to tell Jesus you love him and tell him you are sorry for your sins and then you get to go to heaven with him.

My heart was singing that night. It is still singing when I remember it all. I wish you could understand what I do about Isaac and his struggle to learn the simplest tasks. I wish you could see him struggle to read each word, to write his alphabet. I wish you could see how hard he works with such little gain.

But it doesn't matter does it? In the grand scheme of things my little boy is brilliant! He has heard the greatest mystery of all times and believes. He has taken in the wonder of Christ and has faith to believe.

how he gets it and what he understands is no matter to me. It is obvious that God has touched his heart. It is obvious in my mind that God has a plan for my little boy. It is obvious that God has begun a good work in him......................PRAISE THE LORD!

XO

witnessing to the reluctant........

I was just on facebook with a gal I knew in highschool. I am up in the night again and she sent me a message to chat. I didn't know her all that well, but I hung out with a friend of hers.

FB is a strange thing. People you barely knew come out of the wood work and become your friends. It is cool, and a bit disturbing all at the same time HA!

Anyway, we chatted about lots of stuff and then she just started dumping (for lack of a better word) all this stuff out. She never got married, her parents are both gone, she is an only child, she wants to have kids, she has frozen embryos, she isn't religious, she is spiritual, even though she grew up a Jew....................and so on.

So what makes people just come out and tell you their life history in a matter of 2 minutes? She sounded so depressed (and said as much). What is she missing?

:) I know you all know the answer to that.

From our perspective it is almost like a DAH!!!!!!!! thing isn't it? We all want to yell the answer! We want to give her the cheat sheet.

I agree, that everyone should have the cheat sheet! We should all be told the answer. But what if the person doesn't believe it? What if they are the kind of person you need to tread lightly with and not come out and scream the Gospel in their faces?

I believe that sometimes God needs to fight this battle alone. Well, not completely alone. He needs us to plant that seed, to mention things here and there, well actually He doesn't need us at all............ok, just go with me here for a moment.

Sometimes you just need to live your life, open and out there for people to know you are who you say you are. You need to mention the love of Christ in your life as often as you see fit with that person. You need to be privately praying for that person. BUT, God needs to do all the work. It is ultimately God who changes that persons heart. It is God who decides who is going to be in that book of life. Not us. It is God who should be leading US on how we should be with that person. Not what a book says or other people say.

So, I did just that. I let her know my point of view. I let her know how God saved me from myself. How much my life has changed because of Him. How pathetic I was before Him. But then I stepped back. I let her talk/type. I encouraged and loved and felt for her. Again, the answer was screaming at her. I can see it..............I know what she needed. It beckons her, but she doesn't see it. She doesn't want to see it.

But, I will keep trying. She said that I should call her and talk about it with her sometime. I was thrilled for the opportunity, but it is 2 AM and I would wake everyone up in this RV with a phone call. But I will make that call, because God beckons ME to do it. What I will say and how I will say it is up to Him. I know that He will give me the words that I need and the heart that I need to tell her why HE is all she needs!!!!!!!!!!!

XO

1 John

1 John 1:1-4 (NKJ) "That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, concerning the Word of life— 2 the life was manifested, and we have seen, and bear witness, and declare to you that eternal life which was with the Father and was manifested to us— 3 that which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. 4 And these things we write to you that your[a] joy may be full."

I was sitting around today while my kids were doing school. Yes, you read that right, sitting around. Dishes were cleaned, dog walked, RV relatively tidy................so what was I to do? I decided to pull out my Bible and read while everyone else was quiet. Rare moment!!! I usually try and take care of that part of my day early, before I hear anyone else. But I didn't get to it this AM. So............off I go. And to be honest, I make a point to let my kids see me doing this as this is how I expect them to behave- as active Bible readers!!!

Usually I am involved in a study of some sort. It keeps me motivated to read my Bible and talk to God daily. But this afternoon I thought I would just read somewhere............so I picked 1John. I don't read this often. No reason really, I just don't. But as soon as I started to read I was struck by the very first paragraph. The one I have written to you at the top.

First I want to say how much I enjoyed this verse. Here John is writing to us to let us know that he/they have seen Christ. He was right there in front of them. He touched Christ. He is telling us this so that we can know that all that was promised to us, a life of eternity with Christ, is ours too! AND he is telling us this not only so we can declare it as well, but so that our joy may be complete! WOW! Thanks John!!

We don't have to worry about the fact that we did not see him. John and others have seen him. We too can be a part of this fellowship of believers. They are declaring this to us. Don't you think this also means that we too need to declare this to others? We are now part of that fellowship, and as members we need to let others know that there were witnesses to this miracle. This was not just another man claiming to be God, this WAS God. John wants us to rest in that.

I was really moved by these verses today. I am not sure why. Maybe it is because of what a special time of year it is. I have been thinking about Christ eating his last meal with his beloved friends. Thinking about him washing their feet as they looked on him in awe and wonder. Thinking about what he took on for us, for me, so that God would see me white as snow. Thinking of him rising again so that God would be glorified and we would all have a place with him forever.................so much to think about.

John is letting us know that all these things came to pass. He has been a witness to them. He is declaring them to all that will listen. He is reminding us that this is what was from the beginning. It was given to them and now to us so that we may be in glory with the Father.

My heart is full. Feeling the fullness of Christs love could only do one thing and that is bring us complete joy. What a gift. What a true blessing. What a treasure to rest upon, especially in these troubling times.

Mean Mommy

I just read a friend of mines blog- http://www.hurricane-camille.blogspot.com/
She writes a GREAT blog if you need another one to add to your list. She has a gift.

Anyway, she talked about the honor of being a mother and a bit on how Daddy always gets the big greeting when he walks through the door and all the other fun things!

It reminded me a lot of how I have been feeling lately. I have named myself the mean mommy. I am the one to do all the dirty work. Yes, my husband does his part in the disciplining of our children, but he is fun on the other side. Me, I am just, well, mean mom. I have things to do, places to clean, meals to cook, papers to grade and character building to accomplish. I am just no fun! HA! I can't seem to step out of the serious role and into the fun role like my husband can.

The incredible thing is that my husband is known as the funny one with the kids. They think he is a riot! I am like WHAT!???? LOOK AT ME! I AM THE SILLY ONE!!! They don't see it though. I guess if I was to look at our lives right now I wouldn't see it either. I am the mean mommy.

Ironically one of the reasons my husband and I were attracted to one another was because I made him laugh and he grounded me! Go figure!

Each summer my family goes to the Jersey Shore to have at least a week long visit with my parents, brothers and their families. So much fun. There are 16 of us in all, not to mention the dogs, and we have a great time.

One of our traditions is to go to the boardwalk in Seaside Heights NJ. It is a dump really, but we just have to go, it is tradition! I have been doing it since I was 12. We eat greasy pizza, watch the weird people walk down the boardwalk, and of course ride the rides.

here is one crazy ride that goes around in a circle while you sit sideways in a car. The circle is not flat, there are hills and valleys. They spin you faster and faster and then they send you backwards just as fast, all the while blaring 80's music.

I always go on this ride with my sister in law Julie. It is amazing how a little ride can transform you back to the age of 16. We get on that ride and we are silly teens again doing embarrassing stuff. We flap our arms, make a thumbs up hitching a ride, do a little dance, scream, sing,....whatever. I laugh so hard trying the whole time not to squish Julie with the centrifugal force of the ride.

Funny thing happened this past summer though. I got off the ride and went up to my girls who were smiling kinda funny like. I asked them what was so funny and my mom chimed in. She said, "They were looking at you all funny while you were on that ride and I told them that you used to act like that ALL THE TIME when you were their age."

Can I tell you a I breathed a sigh of relief! My girls actually saw it! They saw me having fun! They saw me acting goofy, silly, laughing with tears. They witnessed it. YES!

I have to remember that God wants us to love life. He gave us breath, life, we need to live it! So why am I always so serious when it comes to my children?

I am not sure I can answer that. I am still trying to figure it all out. I keep hearing myself saying, "Lighten up Francis!" I can't seem to do it though. One of those things God needs me to work on. So today, I am going to try and laugh with my children. You know the laugh. Good belly laughs that hurt.

XO

Lucky

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

This was a big thing in my house growing up. My mothers grandfather was born in Ireland. It is fun to have such diversity and know your great, great grandparents were actually born in another country. But I am not happy for the genetic trait of pale, translucent skin :) HA!

My mom always made a fun day of this "holiday". She turned our milk green, so when we woke up to eat our morning cereal we were ecstatic with the green milk to celebrate the day. She would decorate the house with shamrocks and cook Irish soda bread, smoked butt and cabbage. So much fun..........ok, so the smoked butt and cabbage weren't that great, but the whole celebrating something in March was fun.

So now I am older and although I love to celebrate stuff, anything really, I am getting a little annoyed at this word Luck. In fact it annoys me so much that I have told my children that they are not allowed to say it in our house! HA!

Why you might ask? Well, I just don't believe in luck. There is no such thing.

Ecc.3:14,15 says: I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, and nothing taken from it. God does it, that men should fear before Him. That which is, has already been, and what is to be, has already been; and God requires an account of what is past.

As believers we know that God is in control of everything. He knew us before we were born. He has a plan for our lives already in place. We as Christians need to rest in this and know that things don't happen because of luck. They happen because God planned it that way. He usually has a lesson in it as well; which to many may be considered unlucky. But I think of it as a blessing. Paul counts it all as joy! Can you imagine that? What a blessing to have a heart that knows that all trials are counted as pure joy! WOW!! I wish I had that heart.

So, happy St. Patty's day. Enjoy the green and the food, but leave the luck to the non-believers. Or better yet, find a non-believer and let them know that luck is baloney. It is not of God, it is of this world and we are not to store up our treasures here in this world, but in heaven.

XO

Dear Daughters

I love my daughters. They are just so funny. Each one has her own personality. They couldn't be more opposite, yet the compliment each other - most days :)


I had such a fun day yesterday. I decided that I was going to teach them how to shave their legs.

I have one daughter that is fighting the growing up thing. She has been fighting it forever and is just not interested in all the things that come with being a young lady. She is quiet, shy, reserved and is not AT ALL interested in discussing hygiene with mom, or anyone else for that matter.


My other daughter on the other hand is quite fine with this new change in her life. She is curious about what will happen next and is interested in trying new things. She is a little louder, a little more hyper and not so reserved. She questions me about a lot of things going on with her and her body.


SO, when I woke up yesterday and said, "Today I am going to teach you how to shave your legs!" I wasn't surprised at the moans and yahoos! HA!


My quiet daughter said that she was NOT interested at all and wouldn't do it. Well, she is polite and didn't exactly say those words, but her face and eyes were something to behold! She was not going to budge. I talked to her off and on for a while, but she finally said, " Mom, it is vain."


hhhmmmmm, never thought of that and didn't have an argument, so I let her go-for now, but she had to watch the other one while I taught her, just in case she changed her mind :)

Now remember we are living in an RV with a stall shower and a bathroom that doesn't fit too many people. My "just observing" daughter sat on the toilet while my "yes, lets get to it" daughter (who is younger one by the way) stood with me by the sink.


I filled it with water, had her dunk her foot in there, soaped her up and we proceeded. My youngest thought it was great fun. She let me do it for a while to show her and around all the hard shin bones, but she easily got the hang of it and wanted to finish the rest. All the while I was trying to catch a glimpse of the older one maybe, just maybe being interested...............nothing. That same sour puss face never left her.


So, all in all, it was a fun afternoon. My youngest couldn't stop rubbing her legs. She even asked both her brothers to feel how smooth they were HAHA!! So cute! She is just excited to be doing something new.

When I was a young wife I remember hoping that I would have a house full of boys. I grew up with two brothers and was a total jock. I enjoyed the boys that I grew up with as we played soccer, baseball and anything else that involved running around.

But God didn't have that in mind for me. I am SOOO glad! I am blessed to have these two young women in my life. They are a treasure and life would be so different and I am sure not as wonderful without them.

Even in these moments of "warring" between them and me or between the two of them life is still sweet. God is so good

XO

Beautiful song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nQy-aP_Koo&feature=related

Watch this video. It is such a beautiful song by a singer I don't always enjoy - Brandon Heath. It is loosely based on 1 Cor. 13.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

XO

John 17

We are watching the book of John on DVD. Have you ever seen it? Wonderful dramatization. As we came to John 17 and I listened, I recalled that Jesus prayed to the father out loud so that the disciples could hear him. I don't know how this slipped my mind, but it did.

I was so moved as I heard the man who plays Jesus pray to the father. It was powerful! Again, I am without words as I remember this prayer. There is a song by Ben Glover that is titled "26 Letters" The theme of this song is that 26 letters in the alphabet just are not enough to tell the Lord how you feel about him. VERY GOOD POINT!!

Anyway, Jesus' prayer is so strong, passionate and loving. The way he loved his disciples is plain to see. The way he loved his father is plain to see. And the way he loves us is plain. So why is it that we find Him loving us so difficult some times? For me it has to do with the fact that I can't believe that a righteous God would ever love someone as sinful as me.............

But, He does! Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Read John 17 below and let Jesus' prayer to his disciples, to you, fill you and warm every inch of your heart. You are loved.

XO


John 17 (New King James)

1 Jesus spoke these words, lifted up His eyes to heaven, and said: “Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son, that Your Son also may glorify You,
2 as You have given Him authority over all flesh, that He should give eternal life to as many as You have given Him.
3 And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.
4 I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do.
5 And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.
6 “I have manifested Your name to the men whom You have given Me out of the world. They were Yours, You gave them to Me, and they have kept Your word.
7 Now they have known that all things which You have given Me are from You.
8 For I have given to them the words which You have given Me; and they have received them, and have known surely that I came forth from You; and they have believed that You sent Me.
9 “I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me, for they are Yours.
10 And all Mine are Yours, and Yours are Mine, and I am glorified in them.
11 Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me that they may be one as We are.
12 While I was with them in the world, I kept them in Your name. Those whom You gave Me I have kept; and none of them is lost except the son of perdition, that the Scripture might be fulfilled.
13 But now I come to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves.
14 I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.
15 I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one.
16 They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.
17 Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.
18 As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.
19 And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they also may be sanctified by the truth.
20 “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word;
21 that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.
22 And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one:
23 I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.
24 “Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.
25 O righteous Father! The world has not known You, but I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me.
26 And I have declared to them Your name, and will declare it, that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them.”

Seekers

I am reading this book, on the side, called Basic Christianity by John R.W. Stott. It was given to me by our friends Bonnie and Brian. Brain is going to Dallas Seminary and this is just one of 15 books he had to read in ONE semester for an apologetics class! ONE! Yikes!

For me it is a heavy read. It is not something you read in bed before you go to sleep. Since I am living in a 31ft RV and responsible for teaching my children during the day, I don't get a whole lot of quiet time.

I need quiet for this book. It isn't a "fluff" book. You know the ones I am talking about. The ones that you can read in the middle of a mall and get it because there is no thinking involved.

This is NOT one of those books. I need total peace in order to hear what the author is saying. I am not very far, but there is a great point that I have read so far and I wanted to share it with you.

Stott writes, "God has spoken. God has acted. The record and interpretation of these divine words and deeds is to be found in the Bible. And there for many people they remain. As far as they are concerned, what God has said and done belongs to past history; it has not yet come out of history into experience, out of the Bible into life. God has spoken; but have we listened to his word? God has acted; but have we benefited from what he has done?

.......................At this stage it is necessary to make only one point: we must seek. God has sought us. He is still seeking us. We must seek him. "

He goes on to say, " We must seek diligently. 'man is as lazy as he dares to be,' wrote Emerson. But the matter is so serious that we must overcome our natural laziness and apathy and give our minds to the quest. God has little patience with triflers; "he rewards those who seek him"." (Heb 11:16)

And again he says, "But God's promise is addressed only to the earnest seeker: "You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart."

I have been thinking about this for a while. I have been asking myself this question, "Are you a seeker of God?" I think it is a great question, an important one. I think Emerson is right. We are lazy. I am speaking generally of course, but I know for me I fit that bill!

I will pray later after I check the computer...................

I will have a chance to read my Bible before I go to bed, but my other book calls me so.............

I can pray about this situation tomorrow, right now it feels good to do it...................

There are all sorts of ways you can avoid God. Being a true Christian is tough work! We need to be active. We need to be seekers. We need to call on, be in the presence of, read the word of - GOD.

I try and put it on an earthly level at times. For example, if you have a friend, who lives far away, how is it that you can still know her if you don't seek her? You need to call, be in touch, pray for her.

How is it then we can know God if we don't seek Him? All relationships need to be nurtured, no matter what they are. They all need to be attended to and thought about.

Then there is the whole thing about the promises of God. How much we will miss out if we do not seek God. I can only imagine all the blessings that have been lost for me because I was off doing my own thing. God was in the background, not the forefront. How sad!

So, lets be seekers; beginning today! Let us pray that the Holy Spirit will help us to remember that we are to be seekers of the one and only true God. ACTIVE seekers! Not passive seekers. Let us MOVE!!!!!!!!!

Dear sweet Lord, help me to be a seeker of you. Give me the desire to be in your presence. Help me to desire your ways and not my own. Help me to overcome my laziness and be an active seeker of your word. I love you Lord. amen...........

XO

The Wise and the Foolish

I woke up early in the AM unable to sleep. This happens to me quite often. I don’t know why. Sometimes it is obvious, I am worrying about something I shouldn’t be worrying about. But this night there was nothing. My brain just wanders.

What I usually do to combat this is pray. This works almost every time ,but this is the thing………my prayers take at least an hour because I am constantly going off task! HA!

Does this happen to you?

You start a prayer, thanking the Lord for his marvelous wonders, his awesome creation…………oh, like the one in UT, Bryce Canyon, Lord that was cool. My daughter was so funny hugging all the trees and asking me to take pictures………my daughter, I need to spend some more time with her, I am in the middle of that great book I am reading to her and I haven’t done it in a week. That is a good book..... but the one I am reading to myself is good too, maybe I should just read it now…………AAAAAHHHHHH!!! OFF track!

I apologize to the Lord for my lack of focus and get back on track………only for it to happen again and again. I am sure HE is rolling his eyes at me.

ANYWAY! This is not my main focus. As I lye there(is it lay or lye? This verb has always been a mystery to me!) Sorry........I began to think of my husband and son going off on their week long hike on the Appalachian Trail. I was thinking of bears and then , in the dark I just started to panic that they would meet up with one………..worry worry worry. More praying.

I finally fell back to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I picked up my Bible to read Proverbs. I read Prov. 17, one of my favorites. It has a lot in it that pertains to me personally.

Prov. 17:12 "Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than a fool in his folly." WOW!

First I thanked God for hearing my panic and giving me a verse that has to do with my boys. But then I began to think about this verse. Can you visualize it? A mama bear who has just had her cubs taken from her. I can just see her in total destructo mode, tearing down the whole forest just to get them back. She would be something to reckon with I bet.

In contrast, can you see how God looks at a fool and his folly. WOW is all I can say, once again. If the Lord would rather have me try to stand up against a momma bear than a fool............amazing. I just don't have words to describe how I am feeling.

So what constitutes a fool? This is what my husband asked me after I told him about my night and my reading. I thought it was a great question.

Sometimes I think the fool is easy to detect, especially when I am watching TV! There are so many foolish shows on now. That is literally what I do, flip through, look at someone doing something totally dumb and say "Fool" and turn the channel. Suffice to say that I am not watching too much TV!

But seriously, how can we detect a fool? I think the biggest idea was given to me by my friend Kaye when I told her about my night. She reminded me of Psalm 14:1
"The fool says in his heart, there is no God."

Easy! There is a fool. Total fool. But what about the others? What about the ones that claim to love God? Here are some others that let us know a fool when we see one:

Pr 1:7 ".........but fools despise wisdom and discipline."
Pr 10:18"....whoever spreads slander is a fool."
Pr 13:19"......but fools detest turning from evil."
Pr 14:16 "...but a fool is hotheaded and reckless."
Pr 14:9"...but fools mock at making amends for sin."
Pr 15:5 ".....a fool spurns his fathers discipline."
Pr 15:20 "...but a foolish man despises his mother."
Pr 18:2 "a fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions."
Pr 20:3 "......but every fool is quick to quarrel."
Pr 28:26 "he who trusts in himself is a fool."
Pr 29:11 "a fool gives full vent to his anger


As I began writing this list, so I can spot a fool when I see one, I now realize that I am looking into a mirror! Do you see yourself as the fool? I know I do. Many times I have practiced those verses and not in the good way.


So what can we do about it? Lets look at the opposite of a fool----wisdom. Again, I think Proverb pretty much sums it up.


Proverbs 9:9 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding"

Or how about this one:

Proverbs 8:11 "For wisdom is more precious that rubies and nothing you desire can compare with her."

You know I love how the Lord uses such visual things throughout the Bible for those of us who need a visual to get it! There is such meaning in a visual picture for me. The words begin the understanding but sometimes the picture seals it up.

I am having trouble wrapping this post up, so I think I will just end as it is getting long. I pray that we all desire to seek the Lords wisdom and run, fast and far away, from a fool and his folly!

XO

Words of Wisdom

This is a short post today, but something to truly ponder and act on...........................

I was doing my Beth Moore Study called "To Live as Christ" and she put down some things that I think we all could/should learn from.

She writes: "God's gift of salvation is complete. Although we can't accept more salvation, we can receive on a daily basis:

1. A greater filling of the Holy Spirit
2. A deeper wisdom
3. A more obvious disclosure of God's activity (see John 14:21) ** written below**
4. More effectiveness in service
5. Character more conformed to Christ, and best of all
6. A more intimate relationship with Christ

John 14:21: "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

I have written these on a 3x5 card and have them posted near my bed so when I pray, these are the things I add to my prayers. There is a lot here to chew on, but it is one of those things that needs to be done with the Lord, not with me.

I hope you put these into practice. I believe our lives will be all the better for it and God's truth will be spread further.................

XO

Amen for Christian sisters!!!

Can I just say that I love my sisters in Christ.

As you know we are traveling all over the country. We left with such an excitement to see all of God's creation. And, we have. WOW the beauty of our country, our continent is amazing.

But, as our journey progressed and we are working on being on the road 7 months, the beauty of the country is becoming my third favorite thing.

First has been the greatness of my family. It has been fun hanging out with our crazy teens, our kooky little 9 year old and of course my number one dude - my hubby.

But the new second has been the blessing of sisters in Christ, my girlfriends. I don't know if I have the words to describe the love I feel for them. It is a love that only Christ can give. A bond that can never be broken for we share one heart.

My journey has been wonderful because of them. It all began in VA on my way out to see my dear friend Jen, going back to Marquette to see my sisters Susan, Mim and JoAnn (and many others from our church) one last time, to our trip to WA to see Pam, to CO to see Chris, and Heather, to AZ to see Anice, toTX to see Bonnie, to TN to see my friend Kaye and then be enveloped with love by my sweet sisters, Liz, Kathy, Teresa, Linda, Rene, Mary, Andra and Dottie (Jeanette and Camille in spirit) in Millington, where we used to live and where my walk with the Lord began. Not to mention some new sisters that happen to be the wives of my husbands friends. Even though we didn't know each other, we have a common bond - CHRIST!

I know there are others that I haven't seen yet like Sandie, Lisa and Michelle and I am SO looking forward to it. They encourage me, revive my spirit and just leave me with so much fuel to go on. I am blessed, blessed beyond measure.

Thank you sweet sisters for making my life so wonderful!!!

Great Expectations

Great Expectations.......I'm in the process of reading this book. It has been on my list for a while, along with many others. But today I am not talking about the book, I am talking about life.

The devil is always at work, trying to find another way into our lives. Once we really begin to follow the Lord, the obvious ways the devil can get to us are usually easy, well, maybe easy isn't the right word, just more apparent, to avoid. Basically following the 10 commandments. But what I am talking about are the sneaky ways he tries to get in there and just ruin our day, month, year. Turning us from a loving Christian into a three headed monster!

For me one of those things are expectation. I rely too heavily on them at times, even though I know I shouldn't. Even though I have even talked to people about this very topic, it still sneaks into that brain of mine. I expect to have enough $$ to buys food. I expect my children to want to get their school work done. I expect to be able to have some quiet time in the morning before I start my day. I expect that my husband understands all my moods. I expect that everyone will enjoy my dinner without complaint.

OK, can you see how the expectations can set you up? How the devil can set you up to feel justified in your anger, worry and frustration? Can you see that this is his ploy? And the worst part is, it is one of a million. He is the master of confusion, the master of disillusionment, the master ill will toward our brothers and sisters. And yet, we let him in.............

Great expectations lead to greater disappointment. When you are waiting for something to happen, planning on something and then it doesn't come to fruition, things can get ugly! If I mentioned all the examples of this in my life I think it could fill a small book! UGH!

But The Lord tells us in Matthew 6:31-34 "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

God's word also says: "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour; resist him, standing firm in the faith"..................1 Peter 5: 7-9a

I go over these verses in my mind a lot. I wouldn't call what goes through my mind worry, just constant thinking :) Is there a difference? Probably not.....................HA!

When I first became a Christian my "worry bucket", as my husband called it, was always full and if it wasn't, he knew something was wrong. It was just me, part of the package. But after the Lord took root in my heart that is one of the first things he emptied. I was SO grateful.

I say all that because worry is in me. I have to pray hard to get rid of it-daily. I am sure we all have certain things that have been woven into our lives so long that they are hard to let go. Bad habits die hard after all,

I think expectations add to this constant thinking and worrying about things. Not that we should lower our expectations, just that we need to rethink what God has in store for us. Allowing God to be in complete charge of our lives should actually calm us down. We should rest in the fact that we have no worries because God is in control. When I am reminded of this I let out a sigh of relief!

I wrote this blog back in December! I could never really finish it. I didn't think it quite rolled off my tongue. It was all disjointed. I have written some more and it still seems a bit disjointed, but I am a little off anyway LOL! I hope you get what I am trying to say. Let go and let God, isn't that what some people say?

Personally I find tremendous peace in the fact that the Lord knows each hair on my head, he knows my words before they come out of my mouth, he has a plan for my life. THANK YOU GOD!!!!! Now those are some expectations we can count on! God never changes, never fails us.

AMEN!
XO

Marriage

I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


There, I said it, phew! It is out there. HA!


For me it isn't an issue, but for many women it is hard to even say these words. It breaks my heart to hear how unhappy women are in their marriages. What is worse is the apathy they feel toward them. Like marriage is just another stage in your life that you go through and if it lasts, ok, if no, that's ok too. How terribly sad!

I once went to a marriage conference and the speaker there had us turn toward each other and say, out loud, "My spouse is not my enemy" Again for me, not hard, but what went through my brain was the list of people I do know that might not actually be able to say those words. And again, my heart aches! For I know what they are missing..................



Hebrews 13:4 says "Marriage should be honored by all" This verse is so very telling because this is how God expects us to feel/be/act/think and the world we live in today is saying exactly the opposite. Marriage is not honored by all, and I may even be bold to say that is isn't honored by too many any more. Between gay marriage and the divorce rate, not to mention the glamor that constant remarriages by all of Hollywood seems to portray we are in a poor state.

I think it is because they have lost sight of what marriage truly is. It is a covenant relationship. It is a representation of Christ and the church. Of course in order to really know this, you have to BE in a relationship with Christ. And of course, that is where it all begins to fall apart. Our country, that claims to be 80% Christian, is losing its battle. What started out as a country where people came to worship THE ONE TRUE GOD in their own way has turned into a melting pot of ungodly people. But I am getting off topic here.

Where was I.......Marriage..........When my husband and I got married almost 20 years ago we weren't believers. Well, if asked, we would have told you we were Christians, but we weren't walking with God. The ceremony we had was done in a church and scripture was read, but it was only because that is what you were suppose to do. It didn't MEAN anything to us. I look back on that and I PRAISE the Lord that he took those two filthy hearts and made them His. I thank Him that He still loved us enough to bring us out of the unknowing pit and into the light which is Christ.

Now with Christ as the center, our marriage will never end, until death do us part. Will there be trials, yes, heartaches, yes, but when you both are living for Christ, knowing that there is no alternative than to stay together and work it out, then you can relax and enjoy each other and that is what I plan on doing, for as long as I live.

So love your husbands, honor them, take pride in them and tell them often. For besides Christ, they are your rock!

XO

Rocking out at church

We went to church this past week and it was a ROCKIN service. Brick wall behind the alter, band members in jeans and nice, modest tops, different levels on the stage for the guitar players, drummers and singers. It was rockin!


But I wasn't happy


Don't get me wrong. I love a rockin Christian song, I really do. I get totally swept up in the moment. Hundreds of people singing praises to OUR GOD! We sang the Revelation Song, which is one of my favorites. It moved me to tears. It was so amazing.


But, I wasn't happy.

Don't get me wrong. I love a rockin Christian song. I love to sing at the top of my lungs and be totally drowned out by the band - as I should be because I can't really sing :) I love it that only the Lord can hear my voice as I sing those glorious words just to Him...."Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, Holy Holy is He!" Moves me beyond understanding.


But I wasn't happy.


Why? I think it was because it was Sunday morning. Because it was church. For me that time is for a bit more reverence. I think Sunday morning should be a time of quiet reflection, a chance to begin your week with thinking, praying and honoring God without focusing on the hype of the world. I know churches are trying to be relevant, but I think that they can go over board at times.


The Bible and all it has to offer can speak for itself. Yes there are times you need to reach out to others where they are and I know that to be true as Jesus did it Himself. But, to change the make-up of the church by making it a rock concert is going too far for me. To me that isn't what church is about.


All I kept thinking was, "Are these people here for a good time (because it was a good time, the worship team/band was awesome), or were they here for God, to glorify Him? I am not sure. Also, I can see how a non-believer can get lost in the hype, all the praising and singing to the Lord without really knowing God and all He is.

Why not do this kind of worship on say, Wednesday night. Make it a singing worshipping time in the middle of the week. That would be great! Kind of a revival in the middle of the week slump that you sometimes feel as Sunday starts to fade in the distance.

Am I being too judgemental in these last two posts? Maybe. I can get that way at times and God has to knock me down a notch or two or three :) This is just my opinion. You may go to a great big rockin church and it is amazing. I am glad to hear that. I know that there are all types of ways to worship God. Just as long as that is what we are doing - worshipping and bringing glory to the ONE who is to be praised!

XO

church size

We went to church this past Sunday at Fellowship Bible in Arkansas.

Can you say huge??? I am sure there are others out there that are big. Thousands of people walked the halls.............I am in awe.

I am always amazed at the size of these mega churches. So many thoughts go through my brain like; WOW all these Christians worshiping God!! WOW!! Look at all the outreach services, kids ministries, men's and women's groups they have! How great is that!

But, also, I think of things like - too big! HA! I know simple, but for me, true. We walked in there and received a bulletin and a big smile and welcoming hello, but no one would have known if we were visitors or life long members. I am sure I could walk those halls for years and years and still see few people I knew, who I really knew.

It reminded me of my college experience. For two years I went to a small school in PA. 2300 students. Each and every day I would see hundreds of faces that were familiar to me as I walked around campus. All the girls in my dorm I knew by name. It was great. But, being 11 hours from my boyfriend (now husband) was too much for me, so I transferred to a university in NC to be closer. That one had 15,000 people. Not huge by university standards, but super big for me. I can honestly say I walked to classes most days without ever seeing a friendly face. I didn't like it one bit.

For me it is sad. I think church should be a place where people really know each other, hold each other accountable, help raise your children, bond! How can you do that with 1000's of people.

I am sure there is an argument for the other side. And I am sure it is a good one, but I just don't like them. I need more people time. I need to see familiar faces and more than just 10. I like to see how my 80 year old friend is getting on. I like to hear how a friend is doing with her new born baby and all the women in the church are giving her a shower. I like it when we have our welcoming time before service that I can just about shake everyones hand or at least wave! I like that we , as a church body, can have a picnic and fit in the park! HA! The list just goes on.

Bottom line really is that God made us all different - good thing! There is room for HIS church big or small. As long as the body is serving the Lord, worshiping Him and bringing Glory to Him, all's good. I just like it small.........................

XO

what determines success?

I come from a family of very successful people. But successful in what sense? Both my siblings have VERY good jobs, making lots of money. They both have families, beautiful homes, super cars, the latest clothing and take some fun vacations. For many, this is a measure of success. They have MADE it in this world!

Then there is my family :) We were called by the Lord to homeschool, really before we even knew who HE was. He then drew us to Him so we began going to church and fellowshipping with other believers. We are inturn teaching our children all about Him and His love, grace, mercy and justice. He spoke to my heart on helping my family eat better. In turn I decided that we should not be using white flour, white sugar or eating too much red meat. We grind our own grain, make our own bread, cakes and cookies. Then we decided, with much prayer I might add, to rent our home, put our things in storage, buy an RV and tour around N. America for a year on my husbands military pension! Not an easy job. We are now living on a modest salary and shopping at thrift storesm trying to eat less and better and we are smiling all the way!

So who is more successful?

I am doing a Bible study by Beth Moore on the life of Paul called "To Live as Christ"
I enjoy Beth Moore. She speaks to me at times. As I was started my reading on week 7 there was a quote of hers that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"In our Christian lives, success is obedience to God, not results we can measure."

I never once thought of success like this before and I believe she is right on! We take to heart a lot of what other think. "Keeping up with the Jones'" seems to be a common phrase. I think we all want to look good in some way, shape, or form. But when we put our focus on the things of this world, we will get just that; fleeting moments of brilliance, approval and applause and then it is all gone, you are back to just plain old you.

But God loves plain old you! He loves when you forget about the things of this world and focus on HIM. Jesus is our measure, not the world.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

So maybe that is the key, obedience to God. If we put all of our focus on being obedient to the Lord, don't you think we will be successful? I mean we would have to be. Wouldn't we? Not perfect, but successful in our lives, in our marriages, schooling, mothering and love for others.

I don't know about you, but I am going to do some rethinking of what is successful and what is not. I am going to toss out the worldly mearsuring tape (especially the one that measures around my waist!).

Lord help me to be more obedient to the promptings of the Holy Spirit so You can make my paths straight!

XO

Giving things to God

I have trouble giving things to God. Well, some things are easier than others. When things seem to be difficult, I will pray, "Ok Lord, you can have this because I don't know how to handle it." or "Lord, this RV belongs to you and everything that happens, good or bad with it will be accepted."
But the one thing I can't seem to give to God on a regular basis is my children.

I dropped my 17 year old son off two weeks ago, at the airport. He was headed back to MI to visit the friends he holds so dear from church where we used to live. He was so excited to go and it was made all possible by my brother who had frequent flier miles to share. He is back home now and safe and sound - PTL!!!!

Anyway, I was a mess. I know, I know, people do it all the time. My friend Liz just prayed as her son left for Romania for the umteenth (is that a word?) time, my friend Susan just shared that her son is going to Venezuela for who knows how long. Another friend Barb is getting ready for her daughter to go to Kyrgystan. And yet another friend, Mim whose son is living in Norway! moms and dads alike watch their children go off to do all sorts of things. I guess I was just a mess because it is my first time and my oldest child.

Thefew months before he went I was just fine. There was little talk about it. He was excited about who and what he was going to see and do. As the weeks got closer I found myself getting more and more anxious. The last three days I found myself in tears more than once. What was I upset about you might ask, well, mostly things I have no control over. Was I upset he was going to forget clothes, money, schoolwork (mean mommy!) or the like, no, I have some say into that. I was upset about the plane, the flying, the not being with him if the unthinkable happened. Me not being there to take care of him. Can you tell I am having trouble letting go? - understatement of the YEAR!

I finally said to my husband, "When he goes to college I am going to lose it!" HA!

But what about God? My son doesn't belong to me, he is only on loan, God owns him; he belongs to Him. He has given me these children to care for, raise IN HIM, and to set free. My husband and I are to teach him to live on his own, like a man. That is our goal isn't it? To watch him walk out that door as a God fearing man, ready to be on his own................

I know this. I really do. It is just a hard thing for me. On the one hand I want him to be out of his own, so I can look back and see all the wonders that God has done. On the other hand, I want to keep him in our house so I can make sure he is going to be ok! I want to enjoy him for as long as I can! HA! I know, crazy, yet I am reminded that God gave me a heart that loves. He gave me all the emotions that I am having. The problem is how I am using them.

I think it is ok to love richly and deeply. God wants us to have a heart that loves others. But to get caught up in that love so it stifles another isn't a good thing. So, I am trying to let go.

My husband has been very good at this. He wants my son to be a man. He wants him to have the courage and strength to be able to do things on his own. He has reminded me - a million times I might add- that our son will be ok, just let him go. For example, it is raining and Zach has soccer practice. He usually rides his bike there and back to practice. If it is raining I take him or pick him up so he isn't riding in the rain too long (it is 10 miles each way!). My husband has to remind me that he is a big boy and can get wet! HA! He is right, he can get wet and he will be ok, but there is still that mom in me............wanting to nurture, to care for.

As I am writing all of this it is obvious to me it is time to let go. I know many of you out there have experienced this, letting go of a child for the first time. How do you get through it? I am praying for grace. I have a year and a half until college and I am thinking that might be long enough to build up some courage and a smile :)

XO

wretched sinners

A friend of mines father was arrested over the weekend for having child pornography on his computer and hard copies in his home. He will be arraigned this week. He has a wife, children and grandchildren.................

How does that make you feel to read that? We hear about it all the time. It is all over the papers and on the news, but this time it happened to a man I have known for over 30 years. So for me, the news of such a report has hit my heart, hard.

I am still in a bit of a shock. More so, I am just plain sad. I can't stop thinking about it. It is on my mind all the time. I prayed all through church today for the family. My friend is living a nightmare.

I am really sick about the whole thing. What a horrible thing to do. Children! Children! Does he even know what he is doing? How disgusting can you get? Can you think of anything worse?

Well, I am glad I asked that question because let me tell you something - we are all disgusting, horrible, wretched sinners. We fall right into the same category as those pedophiles, those rapists, murderers. We all have sinned and fallen short - all! We have all be weighed and found wanting! All of us!

Just because our sin is hidden from most or not as severe or depraved doesn't mean that we aren't still all sinners. A sin is a sin is a sin. I know that there are those out there who don't believe that and that is just fine. But for me, it is just that, a sin is a sin - period.

If I harbor ill will toward someone, Christ said that I have already committed murder in my heart (1 John 3:15). If I steal something, even something tiny or seemingly insignificant, I am still a thief. ( Ex 20:15). Jesus said if I lust after another then I have already committed adultery in my heart.(Math 5:28). The list goes on and on.

BUT, and I praise God for the but , We are saved, gloriously saved, by the blood of Christ and through that, amazingly God sees us as white as snow. Unbelievable! Remarkable! WOW!

So as much as I am sickened by what my friends father has done, I am also painfully reminded what I have done to Christ. Even though I have repented and put my trust in Him, the only one who can save me, I am still a sinner. But, thankfully there is grace..........

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not by works, lest anyone should boast." Eph: 2:8,9

XO

Grumbling!

As most of you know we are living in our RV for a year touring around the USA. It has been fun. We are keeping a blog as a family: gforce-road-scholars.blogspot.com. I wrote this blog a while ago and thought it was a good one. I have tweaked it some, but it still hits a chord. Enjoy!

I have been observing my family these last few weeks and I notice A LOT of grumbling going on, myself included. You know what I mean, moaning, groaning, complaining - LOUDLY. But, there IS a lot to grumble about! HAHA!

There is so much change in our daily life, not to mention the crowded quarters and the fact that there are almost 3 (17, 15 and 12 1/2 ) teenagers living under one roof!But I don't like it. I don't like it when I hear myself talking that way, but even worse is hearing the kids talk that way. Truth be told, I am kinda a grumbler by nature. I am not necessarily unhappy, I just like the world to know things aren't perfect. :) Yes, a big flaw on my part. But to watch your kids "catch" what you have is , well, pretty ugly! You know they didn't learn that on their own, they had to get it from somewhere and this is one of the things I can't blame on my husband. He is not a grumbler at all.

Before we moved from Marquette our Pastor Brian spoke on grumbling during his sermon one Sunday. UGH! That was ugly! I kept shrinking lower and lower in the pew wondering if he was talking directly to me, if the kids saw their mother in his speaking or worse yet if the rest of the congregation knew he was speaking to me. Now in all fairness, I am sure Pastor Brian wasn't speaking directly to me as there are many grumblers in the world, but that particular sermon hit me right in the heart. YES! I am a grumbler!! It was hard to listen to, but worth it. I believe that we all need to hear about our faults every so often; just to keep our pride in check if nothing else. For me it was a painful day!! HA! But also a day of learning.

So, the other morning I was reading Exodus - isn't it funny how God knows exactly where you are, what you need to hear and how you can learn from it if you are willing to HEAR! Amazing, anyway - and here is our friend Moses. Man was he a grumbler and not just to anyone, he grumbled right to God. God asked him, came to him in a burning bush, spoke his name and actually had a conversation with Moses and what does Moses do? He complains about being asked to talk to the Israelites! "Oh Lord do I really have to talk to them, I am poor in speech...yada yada yada...." There are other times of grumbling by Moses and is shocks me each time I read about it. I mean it is one thing to grumble to a friend or spouse, but to God! OUT LOUD! Yikes!!

So what does an old man from the Old Testament have to teach us? For me, it is a reminder that God can use even the grumblers to show others His love for them. Maybe not while they are grumbling per say........

It is a comfort to me to see that God puts imperfect people in places of importance throughout the Bible. That he can use anyone, to do His work. PHEW! I thought my list of sins was too long :) It also amazes me that God can teach me, a woman, SO much through an old man! Really, God does this throughout the Bible. Just awesome! We can learn so much if we just open our eyes and ears to what He is trying to tell us. Many times it isn't who is bring the message as much as it is what they are saying!

The funny thing is, is that I think that maybe Moses' grumbling was catchy. The Israelites complained constantly throughout their years in the desert. Yes, there were many things to grumble about as they were stuck in a desert for what seemed like forever, but God was there. God saved them from slavery, got rid of the pursuing Egyptians, but there was constant grumbling. They were thirsty, God gave them water! They were hungry, God gave them food. But it was never enough, they wanted more or something different. God constantly showed his love to them yet all they could do was grumble, find something else to worship or yell at Moses. Why the constant grumbling, especially since God was right there, in a cloud, with them always! Can you imagine how awesome that would be? You would think that alone would stop the them from grumbling, but not the Israelites, they just kept at it.

Do you see where I am going with this? God is constantly showing His love to me and my family, yet we still grumble. He has blessed us beyond measure with a great family, a great extended family, wonderful friends and a roof over our heads. Not to mention my husbands pension, food, clothing,and........the list can go on for hours, months, days, even years, but still, I grumble, the kids grumble why? Well, I have all sorts of reasons why, mostly it comes down to the fact that we are sinners after all. We can't just stop at the snap of a finger and be someone different. But God can help us do that. He has the power and strength to help us to stop a behavior that is undesirable. The question is, will you call on Him to help you? Will you trust that He alone can help you stop a bad behavior and begin anew? Will you just let go and let God?

XO

Hi all,

Sorry it has been a long time since I wrote last. The first reason being that we didn't have computer access over most of the last few days and the other being that I haven't been feeling overly creative as of late. Writing for me is hard if I HAVE to write. Mostly I write when the mood strikes, and lucky you - I am in that writing mood! HA!

I was at the pool yesterday - sunny AZ 70+ degrees and heated pool - nnnniiiiccceee

Anyway, the kids were enjoying each other, diving for coins, hitting each other with the noodles and just generally having a good time. These two boys eventually showed up and they kinda did their own thing. After some time their mom and I got to talking and we had a lot in common. They too are traveling around N. America, homeschooling and she likes to scrapbook, so we chatted a while.

After a bit it was time for us to head out. Isaac was freezing....the boy is as thin as a rail. He eats just as much, if not more than my 17 year old son, but can't seem to put on the pounds. With negative body fat, he doesn't last long...........

The mom I happened to be chatting with decided to head out too and started to call to her boys. They totally ignored her. Just kept on playing and laughing. After some more "get out of the pool boys" they begin a game that included a lot of splashing and they were getting everyone a bit wet. Again, she yelled and again they ignored her. Then they started to sass at her and well, you know. I kinda said my goodbyes and left.

I have two things to say about this, one, have you ever been in that situation? I wanted to slink away because I know how she feels. You have this idea in mind that your children should jump when you say jump and move out when you say move out. When they don't you are so embarrassed........so I began to leave so she wouldn't feel that same way.

But, the thought that ran thru my mind more was the total disobedience of these children. Now I am not bashing parenting skills, more so I am talking about the blatant disobedience of children today. Not only that, but the disrespect. I see it everywhere, and it isn't only focused on parents, but all adults and at times each other as well.

When I received my teaching degree 20 years ago the tide was changing to making sure kids felt good about themselves. "If you boost them up, they will feel pride and want to learn and work harder." is what they would teach us. What I am afraid has happened is that the pendulum swung too far and these children, who are now adults (and raising the same type of children), are so focused on themselves that they forgot the most important thing - others.

We have raised up a society, which is now in their 20's+ that is so SELF focused that there is no room for anyone else, let alone God. They want to be rich, successful, powerful, beautiful. Nothing seems to satisfy them and walking all over the hearts and souls of others is no matter for someone who has their eyes focused on the future; especially when today is just not cutting it for them.

It saddens me so see this. I wonder what our world is going to be like in the next 20 years with self centered people in leadership positions. It is a scary thought.

So, what can we take from this track of thinking. This is what I usually do with my ugly thoughts, I think of how I can make it better. Usually the bettering has to do with my immediately family. Then, if God wishes, it goes outside to others I come in contact with.

So, my children are the guinea pigs :) But seriously, I want them to be loving and caring people. I want them to think of others. I want them to have such a love for God that they will know and hear His voice telling them to GO........GO! Where to go and what to do does not make a difference to me. It is that fact that they are going.............doing something for the glory of God!

I think this is how we can fight the selfish monster that rears its ugly head in all of our lives. Listen for that Holy Spirit to tell you how to serve others. Self sacrifice! How difficult is that? Sometimes VERY difficult. It is one of the things I have been working on for the last 6 months. How much do I really sacrifice for my family? am I willing to just do anything AND without grumbling? That is a whole other story. Doing it is one thing, grumbling while doing it is another. But lets remember one thing, with a heart focused on others, yourself becomes much easier to love :)

Read Luke 10: 25-36

XO